We Love It's Guide to…
Trade stocks tied to alien babies’ simulated lives: buy, sell, short, and wager on what happens next across brief campaigns.
Released 29 Jan 2026
Short Alien Baby Stocks
Bet on Lifespans
Hire Trading Consultants
Buy low, sell high, and short an entire universe of babies in this arcade stock market sim set in the world of Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator.
Developed by Strange Scaffold · Published by Frosty Pop, Strange Scaffold
You play an interstellar trader betting on stocks tied to the simulated lives of alien babies—not trading the babies themselves. Their fortunes unfold through life events that can send share prices up or down.
Choose a planet and a trading target, then buy, sell, or short shares as prices change. You can also place side bets on outcomes such as lifespan or price milestones, and hire consultants for clues about your targets.
The game is organized into short campaigns featuring different traders, planets, and constraints. Campaign goals and character endings give you reasons to pursue stronger results, while each planet’s setting shapes the events and markets you encounter.
Many reviewers enjoy the absurd premise and its dark satire of speculation, especially when a simulated life event clashes with their investment. They also praise the quick, high-stakes buy-and-sell loop, funny writing, and distinctive presentation. Some find the trading too shallow or repetitive to sustain interest for long.
In Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator, you of course do not actually trade BABIES. We aren't monsters.
You buy stocks BASED on the simulated lives of babies, profiting from their misery and cashing out the moment they win the Galactic Lottery!
Step into the shoes of baby traders across the universe in a fast-paced series of mini-campaigns. Unlock unique character endings, bet on the lifespans of digitally simulated alien children, and snatch up as many credits as you can, as fast as you can. Purchase the services of strange consultants, gathering data on your trading targets and building your fortune one Trading Rush at a time.
This is the baby-themed arcade stock market sim you didn't know you needed.
Seven distinct planets to trade procedurally generated alien baby stocks on, each showcasing unique ideas of what it means to be profitable and productive to society.
Consultants you can hire before the trading day to gain information on your trading targets.
An anthology of mini-campaigns following the lives and complications of baby traders across the universe.
A loan shark that won't let you pay him back, because he's then legally allowed to shoot you.
An arcade satire on stock markets and ruthless exploitation from the creators of I Am Your Beast and Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator.
Pulsing electro-industrial soundtrack by Kris Kirk.
The ability to short a baby, because you believe its life will suck.
| Platforms | Windows |
|---|---|
| Achievements | 67 |
| Age ratings |
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| Controller support | PlayStation, Xbox |
| Controller required | No |
| Website | Official website |
